It created anxiety 

When I was about twelve years old, my father remarried. I remember sitting at a hairdresser, waiting and waiting for the woman to do my hair. I kept politely asking when it would be my turn. She kept saying she would get to me. I sat there quietly, trying to be good, trying not to be a nuisance. Eventually my brother arrived and was upset that my hair had not been done. The woman looked at me and said, “Why didn’t you tell me?” But I had told her. Over and over again. 😔 As a little girl, that moment shut something down inside of me. It created anxiety around speaking up. Anxiety around being reprimanded. Anxiety around using my voice and not being heard. It was such a daunting place to be in as a child, caught between authority and accusation, knowing you spoke but feeling invisible anyway. Last week, decades later, life offered me a full circle moment. I went for a simple blow dry, a small act of spoiling myself. Over the years I have worked hard on standing in my power and asking for what I want in a kind, gentle way. So I explained how my hair works best. I mentioned that if my hair is not blow dried while still mostly wet, it becomes fuzzy. She became defensive. Stroppy. Resistant. I calmly said, “Everybody’s hair is different. I know my hair. I’ve had it for 52 years. I know what works.” I reassured her I meant no offence. I was not criticising her skill. I was simply communicating what works for me. But something in her had already closed. She suggested next time I see someone else. She charged me more than before, and I walked away with a familiar ache in my chest. The old wound whispered, “You are not allowed to speak up.” And this time, instead of shrinking, I went home and nurtured that twelve year old inside of me. I sat with her. I told her she was not wrong. I told her she could speak up. I told her she is allowed to have preferences. She is allowed to use her voice. She is allowed to be heard. What this experience reminded me of is something powerful. It is okay to stand in your power and speak up, even when others do not have the ears to hear you. Speaking your truth is not the same as being disrespectful. Having boundaries is not the same as being difficult. Expressing your needs is not the same as attacking someone else. Sometimes people react not because you are wrong, but because your clarity touches their insecurity. And that is not yours to carry. Healing is not about never being triggered again. It is about recognising when an old wound surfaces and choosing to respond differently. This time, I did not collapse. I did not silence myself. I did not apologise for existing. I spoke. I stayed kind. I stayed steady. And when it was clear she could not receive it, I walked away without abandoning myself. To anyone who has ever felt shut down, dismissed or misunderstood for simply expressing what you need, hear this. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to know what works for you. You are allowed to speak up for yourself. Even if someone else chooses not to listen. That little girl in you deserves a voice, and the adult you gets to protect it now. ~ Angy-Lee ~ Our Heart Centre 💚🌱 Join us for our Plant Medicine Ceremonies 🌿🌵 and Know Thyself healing workshops/email info@ourheartcentre.co.za